Today is August 12, 2018 – Day 12 No Regrets Challenge (see August 12, 2018 on my Facebook page for video)
What we think others are thinking about us can really get into our heads and hold us back. I’m here with mon ami Salvador Dali. He is someone who probably didn’t care what others thought of him.
Two days ago as I was preparing to go live for one of these videos I was running over my lines out loud while standing on the sidewalk. A woman of about fifty was passing by and just as she got to right in front of me she stopped turned, toward me, and looked me dead in the face, expressionless, for about four or five seconds, until I came to the end of my sentence. I smiled at her and said “Hi.”
She said nothing, she didn’t even smile back, and then continued to the corner where she stopped again turned back to look at me and gave me another long, uncomfortable glance.
I thought to myself, “She probably thinks I’m crazy for talking to myself.” And I gave one of my big loud belly laughs. Which had to have confirmed this thought, if that was in fact what she was thinking.
I can’t be sure what she was thinking. She could have been thinking, She looks like my daughter in law, or I wish I could speak English. Perhaps she could speak English and was simply stopping to listen to my message. She could have even been thinking that she wished she had the courage to speak publicly. I’ll never know what was on her mind. But what I do know is that I wasn’t really concerned with what she thought of me. I just didn’t care. I had a message to share and I wanted to make sure I covered all of the key points, practicing out loud was how I would accomplish that.
This incident points to how we can jump to conclusions about what people are thinking about us during our interactions with them. In that moment when I was being stared at I only considered that she thought I was crazy. It wasn’t until I started writing this message that I even considered what else could have been going through her head. Fortunately it didn’t bother me, but if it had, I might have changed the process of how I prepared for these videos or maybe even started recording them at home so strangers wouldn’t judge me.
When we jump to a conclusion about what someone is thinking about us, we are making an interpretation that may or may not be accurate. When we assume that we know what someone is thinking about us it can hold us back, make us feel bad about ourselves, and really limit the things we go after.
Today’s No Regrets challenge questions are:
- When have you jumped to a conclusion about what someone was thinking about you that later turned out to be inaccurate? What was the situation?
- What interpretation did you make?
- How did it affect your actions?
- What did your learn form that incident?
We can check the interpretations that we make by asking ourselves “What else could they be thinking?” If you feel comfortable enough to ask the person, you could do that and find out first hand. Knowing that there could be others way in which we are being observed can shift our perspective and provide insights that help us learn and grow.
Patricia Brooks is a life experiences coach, speaker, and the author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast where each week she explores how ordinary people have managed to live extraordinary lives. Patricia is currently living in France, pursuing her dreams.
Photo Credit: L’Independent