Being stuck in indecision or in needing to execute something perfectly creates anxiety about the future and trashes our energy. We can find ourselves falling into a state of inertia, paralyzed by fear and self-doubt . What if I make the wrong choice? What if it doesn’t go according to plan? What if people laugh at me? What if…? This kind of thinking can cause us to lose sight of what we want out of life and why we want to experience it. It can cause us to stop moving forward and we can fall into hopelessness.
I’ve been there. When I had failed my econ comprehensive exam all I could think was my college career had ended and so had my prospects for a happy life. It wasn’t until a friend shook me out of my negative thinking and told me that I could study the things that I hadn’t gotten right and pass the exam the next time I took it. I hadn’t even considered the idea that I could retake the exam. I’ve been there in an unhappy marriage where I was committed to make it work because of my values of loyalty and integrity afraid of what others would say if I divorced. I’ve been there in a job where I felt I could not be true to my ethics without ruining my career. In each of these instances I fell into anxiety, stress and self-doubt. In each of these situations what broke me out of these feelings was taking a small step forward to get unstuck. The cure for inaction, being stuck in negative emotions, is ironically action.
Staying in a situation that you wish was different without taking small steps to make changes keeps you stuck and blind to a way out or a path forward. And at the mercy of the circumstance. Sometimes While we are staying put, hoping for the best, others might be planning and taking steps that will impact us in ways that we won’t like and catapult us into feelings of victim hood, further exacerbating the situation.
Taking a small step gets us unstuck. I’m reminded of the movie Sleeping with the Enemy where Julia Robert’s character is in an abusive relationship with her husband. But she takes a step to learn how to swim which leads her to a plan and the confidence to seek her freedom. This is an extreme example and it is a movie, but it illustrates what I’m saying here.
It is small actions that we take that break us from our inertia that help us see a path forward and then create a plan to move us into a more hopeful place where we can create what we consciously choose to create.
Action creates momentum. Action helps us see different paths we can take. Action shakes the fog in our minds and allows the light to come in.
Patricia Brooks is a life experiences coach, speaker, and the author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast where each week she explores how ordinary people have managed to live extraordinary lives. Patricia is currently living in France, pursuing her dreams.
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