Are Rules Running Your Life?

Principles guide us by motivating us internally to do what seems to be appropriate for each situation.  Rules compel us to do what we are told is right regardless of the situation. Principles are internal and guide us, often subtly, from within.  Rules are external and force us to follow a certain path.  In general, principles tend to free us; rules tend to trap us.

The more I learn to trust my intuition the more rules feel like manacles.  Turning to my values and principles helps me decide what move to make next and helps me find the strength to take that step even when it seems counter to society’s rules.

In fact, living on principles (being aware of them and honoring them) clarifies life and helps me be true to myself while being a beacon for others.  Creating simplicity in my life, being honest, and respecting time are principles that help me create a life that only a few years ago I would have cringed at the thought of pursuing.

Why is it that so many people don’t even know what their principles are?  Why is it that so many defer to and follow rules even when they don’t feel right to them?  It is because following rules prescribed by someone else is easier.  Easier than reaching into yourself and figuring out what you stand for. Easier than trusting the often illogical force called intuition. Easier than creating and following a path that is uniquely suited for you.  Simply put, fitting in is easier than challenging the status quo and living your own life your own way.

As we approach the start of a new year replete with new hopes and dreams and goals, I challenge you to identify your principles and to question which rules you’ve been following blindly that aren’t getting you the results you seek.  Following is a step-by-step process to help you do this.

First assess your values.  Using the list below select the three to five values that are the most important to you and write out why they hold so much weight.  Next write out at least one rule that you follow, that doesn’t make sense, doesn’t feel like it supports your values, or isn’t helping you reach your goals.  Then write out a principle that incorporates at least one of your values and that could help you approach your goal(s) with a fresh perspective. I’ve given three examples of principles in the third paragraph for your reference. Finally, in the comments section, share the insights you gained by doing this activity.  I would love to hear what you learned.

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Photo by Mark Duffel