Tomorrow I turn 52. While I was in the shower this morning the question that came to me was: What were the three most memorable things I experienced during my 51st year of life.
That’s a really tough question since I completely changed my life when I moved to France at 51; so very much has been memorable. But if I had to distill it down into three distinct events, the first would be doing it, actually moving to France. In particular the most memorable part of it was standing in line at Dulles International Airport to board flight #8631 headed for Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions – fear, excitement, a sense of the rightness of this crazy thing I was about to do, pride, uncertainty, faith, and hope. That moment definitely was a biggie as I considered the stories of the passengers in line in front of me and behind me. Were they going on vacation? Would they be attending school? Were they returning home? I wondered how many of them were embarking on an event as life-changing as I was. Tears started to stream down my face. These were tears of loss and mourning for all I was leaving behind. You’ve got to go through it to get through it. And I did. You can read more about this direct experience here.
During this past year I entered into the world of podcasting and became the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast. So my 2nd most memorable experience was my interview with John Hunt and his subsequent passing 3 days before his interview aired. This was a sobering moment for me. Not because I don’t expect people to die. No, the deaths of my dad, my mom, my high school sweetheart at age 49, and my very first friend at the age 50 have made quite aware that death happens and sometimes unexpectedly. During his interview John had been so vibrant and alive, so full of hope for his 1,600 mile bike ride from Maine to Florida later that summer. His parting words on the show were “Just enjoy life.” These words are so profound, especially in his wake. That’s what he did with his life. He enjoyed it.
At the time I learned of John’s death I was priding myself on living my life to the fullest. I was taking chances I would never have taken years ago to ensure that when the end of my life was near I could look back on it without having any regrets. But John’s death awoke me to the fact that there was one place where I was allowing fear to stop me from pursuing something I wanted to, something that could cause me to have regrets if I didn’t pursue it. In the weeks that followed his death I recognized I had to follow my heart despite the illogic of it. So, I started dating a guy, I’ll call him Pascal, despite his dire medical condition. We had decided not to get involved when the doctors confirmed his End Stage Renal Disease diagnosis. But after John’s passing I felt I had to follow my heart, come what may. In the end the relationship didn’t end up working out, but now I don’t have to wonder, what if…?
The third most memorable event of my 51st year was linked to the second. It was the trip I took to Andorra with Pascal. We travelled by car through the Pyrenees mountain range. We stopped in the ski resort town of Les Angles and as we drove along the narrow windy mountain roads the views were breathtaking. I couldn’t believe that all of that beauty existed only a couple of hours from where I was living in Perpignan. Pascal was quite knowledgeable about the area so in addition to deep conversation we had, he shared commentary about the area that deepened my appreciation for it. Stunning scenery. Good company. Wonderful memories.
There you have it in a nutshell my three most memorable events of 2018. God only knows what is in store for me in year 52. I do know it will be wonderful and I welcome it with excited anticipation.