The distance I have traveled astounds me. Not only the 4,000 miles I traveled to move from Richmond, Virginia to Céret, France, but the distance from my head to my heart, from my body to my soul, from being half alive to living every moment to the fullest.
I awake each morning from a deep, deep restorative sleep excited for what the day will hold — feeling content and safe, grateful for what God has done in my life. I’m humbled by how He has orchestrated my life so perfectly.
“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
I read this quote by Albert Camus yesterday morning and I was moved. I feel this way now. Only it’s the glow of happiness on my own face that inspires me to help others to see the light. The fact that I feel this way, after years of searching for meaning in life and chasing happiness, is a testament to my evolution.
It is not lost on me that it was a Frenchman who wrote this quote. The distance in my journey to being and fully experiencing life with gratitude and wonder can be measured by my connection to Camus’ writing.
In 11th grade AP English, one of the books we were required to read was The Stranger by Camus. I can’t remember reading it, but I remember it sitting on my bookshelf years later. And I remember my classmates discussing it. Back then I was looking for the shortcuts in life, especially when something was difficult and I couldn’t see how doing this thing would get me to where I was plotting to go. For me, it was a waste of time. In those days I got my education of The Stranger through Cliff’s Notes.
Now 35 years later I’m different. I read The Stranger, not in the version translated to English, but the original French version. I read it multiple times in order to understand the French wording and also to understand Camus’ deeper message. And I understood! I understood the ironic humor, the blocked emotions, the expression of grief, and the idea that being different can be a costly proposition.
How far I have traveled indeed! I went from going through the motions, looking for the shortcut, and not seeing the purpose in things that lay outside my well-laid plan to finding meaning and purpose in the less obvious or seeming superfluous. I went to the source text of The Stranger, reading it several times and absorbing its essence.
I didn’t see this evolution until I stumbled on that quote. I didn’t see the distance I’ve covered. I see it now and I am humbled.
We all have covered many miles. Though we might not be where we set out for with our well-laid plans, we have grown and evolved. We are different from who we were when we started our journey. And although we might not be where we want to be, we are exactly where we are supposed to be.
Patricia Brooks is a life experiences coach, speaker, and the author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast where each week she explores how ordinary people have managed to live extraordinary lives. She will be releasing her second book, Live a Bold Life: 30 Days to Your Fearless Future, later in 2019. Patricia is currently living in France, pursuing her dreams.
Photo Credit: Suzanne D. Williams