Are you closed off from seeing opportunities or hearing valuable information because you are judging the messenger as unintelligent, too young, or in some other way not qualified to be taken seriously despite their obvious and documented qualifications?
I used to judge people a lot, especially when it came to speaking , if their grammar was not 100% correct (and whose is all the time really) aor if they spoke in a way that sounded, in my opinion uneducated. In hearing words used incorrectly or in a dialect that was not my own my mind would start commenting and judging, what a rube or didn’t she learn that in school. My mind would rant and be shut down to hearing what they were saying no matter how important or true it might be. If they couldn’t learn the language, then how could they teach me anything? My judgments blocked hearing these blessings. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but it was very true.
I’ve noticed a change in myself over the last few years. While I still might feel an inclination to discount someone’s opinion or intelligence if their accent is thick or if they do not speak “proper” English, I am able to hear beyond this, accept it as neither good nor bad, and listen and hear valuable thoughts, ideas , and information in what they are saying. And in the process I’m getting schooled. I’m learning some truly powerful business skills, lessons, and ideas – things I never learned in Business school. Things that will help me move my business to the next level making fewer mistakes and with greater flow.
This doesn’t mean I don’t do my homework on the person to see if they have actually successfully accomplished the things they are teaching, but I don’t allow my prejudgments on how someone sounds or looks to block me from hearing their message and learn valuable stuff in the process.
I am currently taking a business class online and one of the presenters has a very lively style, is very young, and on occasion will say something that is not grammatically correct. During the first lesson I recognized this as a potential problem for me but I was aware of this and because I believe in the lead trainers experience and expertise it didn’t trip me up and shut me down. I listened for the kernels of truth and wisdom that would help me grow my business. I took notes and found myself respecting this teacher in a way that before would have been impossible. What I’m learning is worth its weight in gold, but I’m learning it only because I recognized this judgment and moved passed it.
When I was at iPEC in coach training we learned 33 foundational coaching principles. These are key concepts that are at the foundation of coaching. Principle #14 “Each person we meet is our teacher and our student.” We can learn something from everyone, yet if we allow our judgments to block us from receiving their lessons and insights we do ourselves a disservice.
Are your judgments serving you? What preconceived notions have you subconsciously taken on that block you from receiving insights and information from others or even from yourself that could make your life simpler and flow more easily? Becoming aware of these judgments is the first step to moving through them and opening up the door to untold possibilities.
Patricia Brooks is a life experiences coach, speaker, and the author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast where each week she explores how ordinary people have managed to live extraordinary lives. Patricia is currently living in France, pursuing her dreams.
Photo Credit: Abdullah Oguk