Today is August 16, 2018 – Day 16 No Regrets Challenge (see August 16, 2018 on my Facebook page for video).
I can’t believe we are passing the halfway mark of this month and of this Facebook Live No Regrets Challenge.
I woke up today asking myself what have I learned in doing this so far. What stood out to me was my deeper understanding that confidence is a muscle we build or rebuild through practice.
On August 1st I was nervous about recording videos live. Through my experience as a member of Toastmasters International I had gotten more comfortable in front of an audience, but it has been a while since I presented a speech and I’d never done a Facebook Live before. As I think back to the video I shot just yesterday and then back to the ones I recorded at the beginning of the month I am pleasantly surprised by the gradual improvement in their quality, the lighting , the more stable frame, my delivery, and in general my sense of calm and ease.
I feel more confident in my ability sixteen days after starting. Had I not risen to Ombretta’s suggestion/challenge, this confidence in myself would not have surfaced. It would have remained dormant. In my book Growing Bold I speak of the idea that if you want to get good at something you have to be willing to do something badly at first. If you want to build your confidence you’ve got to start doing over and over, again and again that thing you are uncomfortable doing or that you don’t yet believe you have the skills to do. Each time you do this thing, you’ll get feedback (what went well, what you need to work on), but you’ll also see improvements. The awareness and acknowledgement of these improvements builds confidence in yourself.
Today’s questions: When have you let the fear of doing something poorly (and of looking inept) stop you from doing something you wanted to do? When have you told yourself you can’t do something because you don’t know how to or that you aren’t good enough to?
Confidence is a muscle we build or rebuild by doing things that we might not be good at over and over, again and again. In recognizing the courage it took to attempt this thing in spite of potential awkwardness in doing it and in acknowledging our improvements we build faith in ourselves and begin to believe that we can.
So, the next time you hear yourself say “I don’t know how to.” Or “I’m going to look foolish if I do try.” Or “I’m not good enough.” Respond by telling yourself, “I am competent and confident because I am willing to do something poorly at first.”
Patricia Brooks is a life experiences coach, speaker, and the author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast where each week she explores how ordinary people have managed to live extraordinary lives. Patricia is currently living in France, pursuing her dreams.
Photo Credit: sydney rae