Today is August 11, 2018. Day 12 No Regrets Challenge (see August 11, 2018 on my Facebook page for video).
Eight years ago on this day my father died. He’d been sick for a while, but he hid this from his family. There were only six weeks between the time we found out about his illness and when he died. Not a long time for me to wrap my head around what was about to happen.
That day, as I found out the news, my heart broke in two. My father was a strong man, my superhero (though I didn’t realize this until he died). Four weeks before he died he told me I could come and take care of him when he got out of the hospital. He said he was going to. I believed him because I wanted to believe this idea. Though deep down I knew that he would never go back home.
When I heard the news I was in shock. My dad, the strongest man I knew, had NOT survived life. This was a wake-up call for me. If Daddy could die, I would die too. This shifted my perspective and caused me to change the casual way in which I was approaching life, doing things that didn’t seem to matter, doing things to please others even when they made me miserable, chasing a dream that was someone else’s and not my own. It caused me to look inward and figure out what was important to me to experience in life. It caused me to come to terms with who I was and who I wanted to be, how I wanted to show up in life. It caused me to start breaking free from a routine existence so I could feel and be more fully alive.
Now I’m living a very different life, one where I’m doing things that feel right to me, one where I feel I’m truly making a difference and helping others break free of routines and situations that no longer serve them. And it feels really good.
My father’s death changed me. Changed how I saw the world and my life. And it showed me how I was cheating myself. It was a radical shift in my perspective
I miss my father dearly. In life he taught me so much, he instilled in me strength and resilience. In death he gave me new meaning to my life.
We don’t know what will trigger these moments in our lives that will move us to see and approach life differently, to get clear on who we are and what’s really important. Sometimes they are big events like a death. Sometimes they are smaller, more subtle things. But it is important to pay attention to them, see their deeper message, and take action to move your life forward in new and more satisfying ways.
Patricia Brooks is a life experiences coach, speaker, and the author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is the host of the Discovering Courage Podcast where each week she explores how ordinary people have managed to live extraordinary lives. Patricia is currently living in France, pursuing her dreams.