Yesterday as I was walking down a street in the center of town I was surprised at how quickly the charming winding road changed. Suddenly empty bottles littered the gutter, street and sidewalks, and lots of paper swirled around at the mercy of the wind. Wooded shutters that had once been painted bright hues of red and blue were peeling and donned an ugly weathered grey. The street behind me gave way to an ominous feeling bringing to mind the sociological theory called broken windows syndrome. This theory states that in an area plagued by small crimes that go unchallenged, bigger more harmful crimes will soon follow.
For example, if a vacant warehouse’s broken windows aren’t repaired or boarded up those 
who have more malevolent intentions than busting out windows pay attention. Vandals proceed to break more windows. When there is still no attention, they turn to artistic expression and spray paint walls, sidewalks, trains, whatever is near the initial neglected site. When nothing is done about this, criminals beyond mere vandals, realize this area is free reign and set up shop. They turn the vacant building into their crack house, the corner just across a haven of prostitution. Lack of awareness and neglect turn sections of cities ugly and uninviting.
As I continued to walk through this seedier section of this street I made the connection that the external living conditions of someone, is an outward reflection of their inner state of mind. A state of mind whose vandalizing thoughts, if not corrected, will take over the mind and transform it to a slovenly unwelcoming slum. A person who lets their negative thoughts run free no longer believes that he is worthy. He starts to dislike himself and he can’t see his life as offering any opportunities. He falls into a state of helplessness. His appearance and carriage change and his surroundings deteriorate too. His outer environment mirrors his inner feelings about himself.
This is why it is so important to be aware of your thoughts, what you tell yourself silently, all day, everyday. This is why it is vital to catch your negative or self-defeating thoughts as soon as they cross your mind so you can replace them with more positive, uplifting ones.
You might be saying to yourself, sounds like a good idea, but how exactly do I do this? Below are five steps to help you retrain your mind. Be aware that it takes time and repetition, but this effort is well worth it lest your mind morph into a harmful tool that works against you.
- Identify the trigger situation – When you recognize you are in a bad mood, angry, irritated, anxious, etc. ask yourself what caused you to feel this way? You might come up with something somebody said or did to you or it might be a negative thought about yourself (image, ability, etc.) Wherever your emotions came from, the first step is to identify this trigger situation.
- Identify the thought – Ask yourself what were your thoughts as the situation unfolded and afterward? These could be thoughts such as Why do I have to deal with such idiots. It’s just not fair. Or How dare she do that? These judgmental thoughts are negative and cause you to have certain unproductive emotions.
- Reframe the thought – Now that you’ve recognized the event that triggered your emotions, and you’ve identified the precipitating thought you can reframe the situation by challenging the thought
- For thoughts of self-doubt – you can ask yourself: “Where did that belief come from?”
- For thoughts of conflict with others – you can assume positive intent by asking yourself, “What other reasons, besides to harm you, could this person have acted in the way they did toward you?”
- For thoughts of helplessness (it’s unfair. There is nothing I can do, etc.) – you can ask yourself: “What would the most positive person you know see as options given this situation?” Write those down.
- Feel more empowered – Enjoy returning to a more positive and productive state of mind.
- Repeat and Practice – Repeat these steps each time you need to improve your attitude or change your emotions to more positive ones and watch your circumstance, inner and outer, change.
About the author: Patricia Brooks is a speaker, life purpose coach, and author of Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life you Live. She is currently living in France and experiencing her dream.
Photo Credit: Tara Evans and Markus Spiske