Why are some people successful at reaching their goals while others are not?
Successful people decide to do; whereas people who want to succeed, but who fail to, typically decide to try.
When I hear someone say “I’ll try.”, I don’t believe they will succeed, as much as I would like for them to. What I hear in those words is: I’ll give it a half-hearted attempt, then I’ll throw in the towel and blame my failure on circumstances. “I’ll try” inconspicuously oozes low energy and minimal conviction; these words lack the commitment and the desire required to accomplish results and achieve goals.
The “I’ll try” comment conjures up the thought, I don’t have much faith that I will be successful. When I fail it won’t be like reneging on a promise, after all, I only said “I would try.” Those caught up in the habit of saying “I’ll try” compromise their integrity and lower their belief in themselves, though they aren’t usually aware of these unwanted side effects.
The sad part is, “trying” sets people up for this self-fulfilling prophecy of failing, because without belief, strong desire, and true commitment accomplishment and long term success will be evasive. This lack of commitment ensures that another notch will be etched in their belt of low self-confidence. “Trying” is not found on the road to success. I’ve seen it time and again with clients as well as friends. Unfortunately, without awareness of how insidious the words “I’ll try” are, this cycle will continue to thwart achievement.
So, what if you’ve gotten into the habit of “trying”, what can you do to change your words and attain more successes? First you can start catching yourself saying “I’ll try”. This brings awareness to the level of commitment and amount faith you have in what you are considering undertaking. Once you have greater awareness it starts to break the habit. You can assess your motives for agreeing to try something rather than committing to do it and get clear on whether it’s something you can truly commit to.
If you really want to begin to change your actions from being mere attempts into satisfying achievements, I recommend reading my book, Growing Bold: How to Overcome Fear, Build Confidence, and Love the Life You Live, which includes activities on effective goal setting and attainment. These activities will give you greater insight into your values and motives. They will help you say “yes”, with confidence and conviction, to the things you truly want to do, and “no”, with integrity and without guilt, to the things that don’t fit your life’s course right now. Armed with these skills you can decide not to take on an action or you can decide to truly commit to and reach your goal. Either way the quality of your decision is higher; you’ll feel happier and be more productive. When you decide consciously to do or not to do, you achieve more and feel more satisfied.
Note: Patricia Brooks is currently writing her next book which focuses on decision making, commitment (try vs. do), and reaching your goals while enjoying the journey. Look for it in 2018.
Photo Credit: U.S. Army Europe